WEDNESDAY'S WORD - OVERAWED - 4/15/2020 -Sadell Bradley

"We are sometimes so overawed by flamboyance and machismo that we forget to ask ourselves how we treat others." -Vikrant Massey - Indian Actor   Being in quarantine leaves a lot of time for prayer and self-reflection. Having to move your church's launch team from a planned Easter Sunday opening in a new facility to online platforms within a matter of days is daunting. We have less of everything: time, planning, personnel, money and experience. How we can offer a quality worship experience?  I HATE video and the LORD was also asking me to sing. Though I love to sing, it has always had emotional ups and downs when I have to do it publicly, as I'm definitely not the best at it. As I was praying, the Holy Spirit spoke, "You cannot be intimidated."     I've been intimidated and bullied...a lot. I've not had much affirmation. A year before my mother died, she heard my aunt give me a compliment and reflected back to me that she, at 90, realized she hadn't really complimented me. It was both a sting and relieving, and made her saying, "You are a good kid," as she was declining, all the more valuable. The Holy Spirit was speaking beyond church changes or singing. These were root issues.    As an African-American woman, it's important not to be intimidated in rooms. In my 20's four men from different generations called me intimidating for four different reasons: because of my education, my looks, my spirituality, and my boldness to speak up without fear. I had to realize that because they perceived me as a strong woman, they were intimidated...even if I was not intimidating. I looked up the definition of intimidated and it said to frighten or OVERAWE someone. I'd never heard the word OVERAWE - to restrain or subdue by awe (reverential respect mixed fear or wonder); to impress someone so much that they become silent or inhibited.     I realized I have often been intimidated and overawed. I've been restrained and subdued, silenced and inhibited. I used to call it the 'Taming of the Shrew' syndrome (Shakespeare). One definition of shrew is an 'aggressively assertive woman.' Because I've experienced so much backlash just for being... I've attempted to counter it by becoming invisible and shying away from spotlights. I've never understood why I've always been fought while standing still. I've also made unhealthy comparisons to others, perceiving their abilities/resources as so much better and more worthy than my own...which has brought me to silence. It's a stunning revelation.   The obvious Biblical reference is how the spies of the children of Israel went into the land of promise and brought back a bad report. They said their enemies were huge and their cities were strong and fortified, "We even saw giants there, the descendants of Anak. Next to them, we felt like grasshoppers, and that's what they thought, too!" (Numbers 13:33) The way they assessed their situation, their adversaries and their own view of themselves, brought the people to tears. They lost heart because of the intimidation and overawe of their leaders. These overawed spies, Moses, and most of the Israelites did not enter into what God had promised a result. That's why the Holy Spirit is saying, "You cannot be intimidated," or overawed."