On December 10, 2024, acclaimed poet and Civil Rights Activist Nikki Giovanni passed away at age 81. Giovanni, a native of Cincinnati, Ohio, was a professor at Virginia Tech University. Her poems, books, television appearances, and advocacy spanned decades. Giovanni is being honored in her hometown and around the world with memorials of her storied and impactful life.
Her quote above talks about CONTRADICTION—defined as a combination of statements, ideas, or features of a situation that are opposed to one another; a person, thing, or situation in which inconsistent elements are present; or the statement of a position opposite to one already made. She refers to the latter by stating that growth and maturity automatically bring contradiction. What you stood adamantly for in your youth, might gradually or even drastically change over time. I think about sermons I preached 25 years ago. Though I still have notes from some, it is unlikely that I will ever preach them the same way...because my understanding has deepened, and some of my ideas have transformed.
"My life is such a contradiction. My soul yearns for holiness then runs from the mortification (death to self) necessary to attain it."—Mother Angelica, Catholic Nun
I get where Mother Angelica is coming from, don't you? In Romans 7:14-17 (NLT), Paul explained this all too familiar contradiction that ALL of us face—even the Apostle who wrote much of the New Testament. Paul discovered, though he was a scholar of Mosaic Law—that keeping all of God's precepts as a sinful human was unattainable. That is why we need God's forgiveness through the shed blood of His Son Jesus Christ at the Cross of Calvary. There is nothing wrong with God's standards...we iniquitous humans just can't entirely fulfill them:
14So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. 18And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.
I'm wondering if, like Paul...you've struggled with your flesh warring against God's Spirit within you. In Galatians 5:16-17, Paul admonishes us, 16So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. (walk in the Spirit) Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. Paul was clear about this type of spiritual warfare. He continues in Romans 7:
19I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. 21I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22I love God’s law with all my heart. 23But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.
We really love Jesus, but we beat ourselves up for not immediately changing, growing, or fixing the areas that miss the mark of God's holiness (that's what harmartia, the Greek word for sin means). Paul became so frustrated with his struggle toward holiness, sanctification (setting himself apart), and sinless/perfection (maturity). that he called himself names. Have you been disgusted with your lack of consecration toward the things of God? Paul wrote, 24Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord... (Romans 7:19-25a) |